


Take it on the Run

by BakedCartman



Category: IT (2017)
Genre: 2017, Gay, Horror, LGBTQ Character, M/M, Summer
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-10-18
Updated: 2018-04-09
Packaged: 2019-01-18 22:04:10
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Underage
Chapters: 9
Words: 9,282
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12397158
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BakedCartman/pseuds/BakedCartman
Summary: Ever since the day they faced their fears and destroyed Pennywise, nothing has really been the same. Ever heard the saying "All good things come to an end" ? well, that's what happened. Faces that mean so much to you, sometimes just get added to the list of faces you casually pass by in the hall.. Sure, there would always be that silent connection they all still had, but nothing could ever surpass what they had back then. Times were different now, the kids got older, people moved on, and losers blossomed into lovely young adults.Well, some anywayWhile every senior has been in full panic mode ever since day one of the school year to get into the school of their dreams, Richie Tozier is still stuck on that summer that happened so many years ago. The summer he'll never get back, because he wasted it on a clown that lived in a fucking crack house.He wants, no, he NEEDS to have a summer like he planned on back then, and he needed it before high school was officially over, and before those faces slipped from his fingers forever.But, what could be more eventful than killing a demon that shaped itself into your deepest, darkest fears?Well, no one said it'd be easy.





	1. Fuck Clowns, Man

**Author's Note:**

> Hey everyone, so I wrote this story on wattpad as well, I'm just posting it here too because I'm pretty proud of this story and want others to see it! 
> 
> Thanks, -bakedcartman (aka ratguts on wattpad)

He didn't really recall ever feeling this much pain since he was punched in the face when he was 13 by his own best friend. 

His thumb was red as a cherry, the pain in it was so intense, his own heartbeat was felt through it. He sucked on his thumb like a small child, and carefully shut his locker door this time, to make sure it wasn't slammed on a part of him again. He had brought a lot of attention to him when it happened, as he very aggressively screamed "motherfuck, your mom's a whore!" with tears forming in his eyes when there was several people in the hall at the time. When he finally saw that all eyes were on him, he fixed his glasses with the hand that didn't have the sore thumb, scrunched up his face, and very obnoxiously went; "What?!" 

Don't get the wrong idea, Richie Tozier loved being in the spotlight, but, he wanted it because he defeated a shape shifting  clown, not because he was acting like a baby for hurting his thumby whumby.  

Here's the thing. In case you didn't know, teenagers simply do not give a shit about anything. They say they do, but they fucking don't. Demon living in your town that wakes up every 27 years to feed on children's fear? Lame. A group of young teens, not only defeating the terrifying thing, but also finding themselves along the way? Meh. Richie found it absolutley frustrating that he wasn't getting the praise he deserved. 

Not only was he not getting worshipped by his fellow peers, but he also wasted what could have been THE best summer of his life on a fucking clown. How shitty is that? ask Richie. "It's super shitty!" He would tell you. 

Richie had THE best summer in history planned out. Hanging out at the quarry every week till night time? Having sleepovers in the tree house at his place? maybe even sneaking some beers in? Having fires? Going fishing? If it wasn't for that fucking clown, this whole thing would be a memory for Richie, and not a dream waiting to come true! 

Well, that was going to change. 

It would be hard though, Richie knew that. 

What happened really did change them. In a dramatic and drastic way. Every summer after that just made them all drift further apart. 

What sucks is the fact Richie didn't do this sooner. He was so caught up in girls and partying and just generally being a horny teenager, he forgot about what matters most. His best pals. 

Only two weeks until senior year is over, along with his chance to get possibly THE best summer of his life back, He had to work fast, but who would he start with? 

None other than Eddie Kaspbrack, of course.


	2. Pitbull Terrier

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "Heard it from a friend who  
> Heard it from a friend who  
> Heard it from another you been messin' around  
> They say you got a girlfriend  
> You're out late every weekend  
> They're talkin' about you and it's bringin' me down"
> 
> -REO Speedwagon

Richie had friends, they were chill, but they'd never be the friends he had when he was thirteen. That much was obvious. He doesn't want to admit it, but deep down he knows no matter who he meets, they'll never be able to top the emotional and spiritual connection he had with the losers club years ago. That was the shit. It was kind of sad, in a way. The people he hung out with nowadays didn't really mean that much to him. They were just there to fill the space in your mind that let's you be proud of having friends. They didn't really mean that much to him. One of them could die and he'd go about his life like nothing ever happened. 

He had a lot of friends, and almost an equal amount of enemies.

You either hated or loved Richie Tozier for being a total trash-mouthed, cocky little shit.  There was no in-between. It's not like you could just ignore him or anything. 

"Rich? Hello?" A hand was waved in front of his face. 

"Ah, what?" He replied. 

It was Kyle who brought him out of his thoughts. He was one of the 'chill, but not losers club chill' friends. They were close, well, at least compared to the others he was stuck with. 

"What are you thinking of, Rich?" Kyle asked.

"Oh, you know," he fixed his glasses. "Last night with your mom. Y'know, she's not as loose as everyone says. It was kinda like slapping pieces of ham on both sides of my dick and fucking them."

Duke to the left of them slowly put down his ham sandwhich he was about to take a bite of. 

Kyle rolled his eyes. "Shut up, Tozier. You know, one of these days you're going to get your ass beat by someone who doesn't much care for your trashy jokes." 

The other boy shrugged. "Then they don't fucking appreciate art, dude." The boys all stood and began to gather their things. 

"You're delusional." Kyle frowned. Richie just stuck out his tongue in response. He had way too much fun fucking with people. 

Richie use to get a lot of shit back in Freshman year from Henry Bower and his boys, but ever since then, instead of fighting back, he decided to start resolving his issues with what he does best,  
talking. He's managed to speak his way out of sticky situations, but one of these days, his charming way with words wouldn't save his skinny ass.  

The boys went outside to have a few smokes and wait for lunch to be over. They'd usually huddle around and talk about anything and everything until the bell rang. 

** 

On about his third cigarette, Richie turned around and spotted a familiar little figure walking past their group and to the school doors, holding his books that were almost bigger than him tightly to his chest. He recognized it as Eddie Kaspbrak himself. 

He thought for a moment, and patted his buddy on the back and informed the rest of the smokers he'd catch up with them after school. He wanted to catch up to Eddie. Maybe he wouldn't bring up his plans of having THE best summer of their lives just yet, but talking to the tiny dude and catching up with him before he proposed the idea wouldn't hurt. 

He had to be careful though, as Eddie was obviously small physically, he was a giant mentally. He was no trash mouth, but he sure knew how to talk circles around you like it was nothing. He had this way of making you feel like a fucking fool for asking a simple question. Sure, he was a bit paranoid at times, and a total nerd, but it didn't stop him from not letting people talk down to him. 

To put it simply, Eddie Kaspbrak was a Pitbull. Small and cute, but also beyond capable of destroying you. 

Richie followed a few feet behind Eddie for a few minutes, thinking of what to say. Sure it was a bit creepy since the smaller boy had no idea he was being watched, but remember Richie had to think this through and choose his words carefully so he wouldn't get his head ripped off. 

"Hey Eddie!" He called out to him, finally deciding what he'd say and how he would go about this. 

Eddie turned with a disgusted and displeased look on his face, and whispered "Oh no." As Tozier approached him. 

"How's it going?" He asked, kneeling down and placing an arm on Eddie's shoulders. The move was a bit bold, and also a little awkward because of the drastic height difference. 

Over the last few years, Richie grew, a lot. Last time he spoke to Eddie, he wasn't that much taller than him. Back then, he was five feet 7 inches. Now? He stood at six feet four inches. Richie didn't even think Eddie grew at all since then. He still seemed to be about five feet three inches. 

"Uh, I'm not looking to buy drugs or anything." 

Well,  that certainly wasn't the response the giant expected. He knew it wasn't going to be the most excited or the friendliest greeting, but damn. He took his arm off Eddie and stood up straight. 

Despite being a little offended, he laughed it off. "What? No man, I'm not gonna sell you drugs," Richie rubbed the back of his neck in embarrassment. 

"Then uh," he stopped at his locker. "What... what do you want?" 

"To talk? Catch up a little bit? How have you been?" He asked, leaning against the locker beside Eddie's. In his mind, he had this in the bag. 

Eddie peered from behind his open locker door, another disgusted look on his face. He seemed to be disgusted a lot. Or maybe it was just because he was talking to trash mouth Tozier. 

"What do you care?" 

"What do you mean Eds? Why wouldn't I care?" 

Eddie scoffed. "Uh, beep beep Richie, actions speak louder than words, if you really cared, we wouldn't even be having this conversation,  because we'd still be friends, and you would have never ditched us for sluts and douchebags." 

"What the fuck? We all went our separate ways though! You've got your own little group of math nerds, Bill has his engineering geniuses and shit and-"

"No! You went your separate way, Tozier. You think we'd all just leave each other after what we went through?" 

"No, I... I thought that, you guys weren't friends anymore?" Richie was so lost, a lot was racing through his mind right now. 

Eddie slammed his locker door and then pinched the bridge of his nose, closing his eyes. "So, let me get this straight," he laughed without the humor. "To make yourself feel better for leaving your best friends behind, you convinced yourself we all just moved on?! Jesus christ, well, you're wrong, Richie. We're all still friends. You were the only one that left."

Have you ever been punched? Have something thrown at you? It hurts, right? Well, that's how Richie felt, but instead of it being a fist or an inanimate object that hit him, it was fucking reality. He thought he was gonna puke. He's been lying to himself for years, making himself feel better for abandoning the people that truly cared about him. For the first time in his life, Richie realized he wasn't hot shit after all.  He opened his mouth, only to close it again, repeating this until the little pitbull just put his back to him, taking a few steps before coming to a halt. 

"Oh, and Richie?" He called over his shoulder, in the sweetest voice Richie has ever heard. 

"Yeah?" 

"Don't fucking call me Eds, you narcissistic prick." Then, he walked off again without stopping, leaving Richie standing there, feeling like the biggest asshole that ever existed. 


	3. Memories, Where'd You Go?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ",But I know the neighborhood  
> And talk is cheap when the story is good  
> And the tales grow taller on down the line  
> But I'm telling you, babe  
> That I don't think it's true, babe  
> And even if it is keep this in mind..."

(chapter title based off the song 'memories by Panic! at the Disco)

Have you ever felt watched? Like a pair of eyes or even more than just one pair was almost stabbing you? Richie felt that. He's been feeling that ever since his upsetting encounter with little Eddie. The day his whole entire world was flipped upside down and reality came over and fucked him, and it fucked him good too. 

He hasn't slept in days, he's had anxiety attacks every morning before school, he wasn't eating properly, and it made him feel like shit. Even made him look like it, too. 

His mother noticed, and asked him about it, but when he just told her nothing was wrong, she didn't push it. She had decided he would come to her when he was ready. Hopefully. 

Anyways, Eddie has been torturing him, silently. At school and home. When he's at school, Richie is almost ninety nine percent sure the little dude was watching him, and when he was at home, he couldn't get what he said out of his mind! 

"No, Tozier. You were the only one that left."

How the fuck are you supposed to forget words like that from someone you use to call your best friend? Here's a hint; you fucking don't. 

"Holy fucking shit." Trash mouth whispered to himself. "Just go away, just leave me alone will you shithead!" He accidentally yelled the last part. 

He had this habit of thinking out loud, very loud. Of course, everyone in the hall stopped and stared for about five seconds before the scene became boring to them, and continued to obnoxiously chew their gum or make out with their significant other.

"At least it's fucking friday." He sighed. 

** 

It was finally last period, and Richie was ready to go home, down a bunch of pain killers, and finally get some sleep. 

The bell rang and everyone collected their books in a hurry before scattering about to find the exit, much like a fly being confused about how to leave a window. High school was a very interesting thing. 

As Richie walked out of the classroom, he heard a voice call for him. 

"Rich, wait up." 

Was... was that Eddie? It sounded like him. 

Richie turned and was relieved and disappointed at the same time when he saw it wasn't Eddie, but Kyle. 

"Hey, loser." The tall boy greeted. 

Richie had tried his best over these last few days to not show too much of his emotions or what he was going through. It was hard, but if he wanted to avoid any questions asking him what was wrong, he needed to just set aside his sadness and put on his old, happy Richie mask. 

"So, party tonight at my place. You coming?" Kyle asked, making finger guns at him. Typical douche. 

"Uh, I don't know man..." He admitted. 

Let's see, a whole night alone with your thoughts, or a whole night surrounded by obnoxious, drunk teenagers with your thoughts? 

"Aw, that's not the Tozier I know. Come, it'll be a banger." He frowned.

"You don't even know the real Tozier." He whispered, ever so softly, looking away. 

"What?" 

"Nothing, yeah dude why not. I need some booze in me, anyway." 

"Great! See you there." Kyle said, walking off. When he was out of ear shot, Richie puffed out his chest and mocked his words in a high pitched, irritating voice. If he was being honest with himself, which he obviously hasn't done for a long time, he would tell himself that even though alcohol is a temporary relief to all of life's problems, it really does not do a single fucking thing, but then again, Richie isn't doing that. Booze it is.

Richie turned, and began to walk, but slammed into someone. Because of his height, only the other person was knocked over. 

"Oh, for fuck sakes, man, are you blind?!" He spat at the boy that was now on his knees in a very awkward position, preparing to stand up.

"S-sorry" He replied. 

Wait a minute, Richie knew that stutter from anywhere. When the kid looked up at him, it was confirmed, It was none other than Bill Denbrough.  

"Oh, fuck, no I'm sorry. Here, let me-" 

"D-d-don't touch me." He smacked Richies hand away and stood up himself,  brushing off. 

Despite Bill being extremely cold with him, as he should be, Richie couldn't help but be reminded of the many memories he had back in the day when he took a good look at his face for the first time in a long time. Memories like dedicating time, sweat and tears into finding his younger brother he was so heartbroken over. Memories like taking on Henry Bowers and his gang in a rock fight. Memories like laughing and going down the hill on their bikes at full speed with no hands. Richie stood there, a little choked, staring at the other seventeen year old with a hurting heart. God, he missed these fucking losers. So much. 

Bill coughed, snapping Richie out if it and back to reality. 

He shook his head. "I'm sorry again, Bill." It was funny, really. Bill didn't know it, but Richie was apologizing for something much deeper than just running into him.

"It's no b-b-big deal. I g-guess uh-" he sounded like he was going to say something, but just never finished. He thought for a second and a half,  but decided to just walk off without saying another word. 

That was hard, awkward, and painful. 

**

"M-maybe we should give h-h-him a second c-chance..."  Bill said, calmly.  "I miss him, guys." 

"No way." Stan told him. "He's a dick. Why should we go running back to him? I don't miss him, do you guys miss him?" 

Mike and Ben shook their heads. 

Eddie rolled his eyes. "We're actually talking about this? Like, we are actually talking about Richie Tozier? Lame." 

Bill looked down, sad. 

Richie had no idea, but Bill too was reminded of all of the good memories the two had in the past when he ran into him that day. He missed Richie. So much.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you guys so much for the Kudos aaaaaaa


	4. Playlist!

Hey guys!! 

I just want to say thank you so much for the kudos and comments! You make me very proud of this story, which helps me get motivation to write as much as possible and post chapters regularly. 

I just want everyone to know that I appreciate you (: 

Anyways I put together a Playlist that fit perfectly (imo) to this ongoing story. 

Please, please check these songs out, I adore them and if you like this story I'm sure you would too. 

Always / Panic! At the disco 

Blame me / The Pretty Reckless 

Take it on the Run (which is #1, it's literally the song this story is based off of) / REO Speedwagon

Memories / Panic! At the disco 

Black Velvet ( very important, this was my second choice of songs I wanted to base this story off of) / Alannah Myles 

(You're A) Strange Animal / Gowan

AND that's it so far, but there is more to come. 

I love you guys ! 

\- BakedCartman


	5. Black Velvet, And That Little Boy's Smile

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "You take it on the run baby  
> If that's the way you want it baby  
> Then I don't want you around  
> I don't believe it  
> Not for a minute  
> You're under the gun so you take it on the run"

(Chapter title based off the song 'Black Velvet' by Alannah Myles)

Where do you think you'd find a group of losers on a Friday night?

The movies? At home? At the quarry? Well, that's usually the case, but not tonight. 

The boys had been invited to a big party tonight. This was the first time in awhile they were invited to anything. Not like they cared, parties weren't their thing anyway, but it was still nice nonetheless to be asked to come. Not only that, but there was only a few more weeks of school left until the summer vacation that transitioned everyone in senior year to college. The boys said 'fuck it' and agreed to come. 

Everyone was pretty stoked, everyone except Eddie, that is. 

Eddie got extremely nervous in big crowds. It gave him anxiety attacks which sometimes led to asthma attacks, which were never fun believe it or not. There was also that little voice in the back of the boys mind that was telling him that somehow, in some way, his mother would find out he was out partying instead of sleeping over at Stan's place like he told her. He had some serious doubts, but that wouldn't stop him. Ever since what happened with Pennywise, and also what Richie asked him some years ago. 

"Did your mother ever have any kids that lived?" 

At first, Eddie had no idea what that trash mouth was talking about, but over time, he realized exactly what he meant. Despite Eddie despising Richie, he was thankful for those words. Without those words, What memories like dancing in the rain in fear of a cold and doing back flips off the quarry would he have? 

The group of friends were fucking about as Bill was driving, speaking and yelling about God knows what, until they came to the sewer. It was dead silent in that car, and everyone knew why. 

Ever since what happened with Pennywise, it was almost like everyone just forgot about it, but of course they didn't. They just treated his name and the memories that came from what happened with him like bad luck. It may have made them stronger kids, and good people, but they would trade all of that any day if it just meant the nightmares stopped. 

"So, what time is it at again?" Mike asked, breaking the tension in the air. 

"Ten or s-something." Bill told him.

The boys looked at each other with panicked expressions as the car began to make strange noises. Bill just rolled his eyes. 

"It's a p-piece of shit. You get use to it." 

"Hey at least you have a car." Stan said. "That old jew hasn't bought me anything over five bucks since I turned seventeen." 

"Hey Bill, could you stop at my house, I need to grab something quick." Eddie said from the back seat. Bill pulled up in Eddies driveway and made sure to hit park. He had an accident a little while back which involved him not taking proper precautions,  and well, let's say it didn't end well for the car, or his allowance. 

"Stan, come in with me." 

"Why me?" 

"I have to talk to you about something." 

Bill gasped and held his chest while turning. "Secrets d-don't make friends, Eddie s-s-spaghetti." 

Eddie rolled his eyes. "it's about a project, come on Stan." 

The boys got out and walked off to Eddie's house. Bill took this as an opportunity to talk to Ben and Mike about Richie. It's been on his mind all day, and these two were far more understanding than Stan and Eddie. 

"So, uh, guys." He turned down the radio. "You know earlier, about R-Richie a-and all." The two nodded their heads. Bill suddenly found his shirt interesting and began to play with his sleeves. "W-well, I m-miss him, a lot, and I know e-e-earlier you said you didn't, but I j-just can't shake t-the feeling that I'm not t-the only one." He looked up, trying to read their facial expressions.  

"Well," Mike began. "I miss the person he use to be. Not the person he is now." 

"W-w-who is he now?" 

Mike and Ben looked at each other. "A douche." Ben said. 

"That's not who he is though." Bill stated. "I ran into him today, and I saw the kid we hung out with back then, he was nice and had big sad eyes, he looked broken but he acted like Richie, you know?" He did not stutter once, feeling confident and passionate about his words. "That's my best friend, I know him better than anyone. We all do, and if you ran into him today like I did, you would have seen the old him too." 

"Maybe you should talk to him, then." Mike told him. 

Bill thought for a moment. "M-maybe he'll be at the p-party tonight. I'll try, but you guys have to p-promise me to keep this between us for now. I hate keeping s-s-secrets but Eddie and Stan don't want anything to do with R-Richie right now." 

"We won't say anything, Bill."

"Thanks y-y-you g-guys." He smiled. 

** 

"Since I know there's no project, what is it you actually wanted to tell me." Stan asked as Eddie was packing clothes in his backpack.

"This whole Richie thing. I can't believe after three years, Bill suddenly is bothered by it." 

"I know dude. I know he misses him, but he has to realize-" Stan stopped for a second. "Oh, oh ho ho,  what the fuck is that?" He pointed at Eddie, who held a suit up on a hanger.

"You like it? I'm going to wear it tonight!" 

Stan stared at him for a few seconds before losing control, he was laughing so hard his face became red and tears started to form. Eddie looked on with crossed arms. 

"Are you done?" He asked, after what seemed like fucking forever to him. 

Stan stood straight and wiped the tears away. "Yeah, yeah I'm done, ohhhhh, man." He wasn't exactly done, letting out a few more laughs. "Have you ever been to a party?" 

Eddie shook his head. 

**

Richie back at home had no idea he was being talked about so much, he took a swig from some cheap wine he stole out of the kitchen pantry, and slowly danced gracefully around his room to 'Black Velvet' by Alannah Myles, which at that time just came out and was played on repeat by teens and adults alike. Richie was lost in his dance, thinking of nothing but where his feet were going to land next, and what the wine was doing to his taste buds. It was beautiful. He was beautiful. Those light freckles, the way his hips swung to the music, his hair, ever so slightly bouncing as he moved his head side to side. Any girl would melt and turn into goo if she was watching him right now. 

Eventually the song ended, and loud obnoxious 80's punk blasted through the radio, causing the beautiful scene to turn into one that the elderly would look down upon, as now he was jumping up and down like a maniac, air guitar and all, spilling the wine on the carpet and not giving a single fuck about it either. He went from one end to the other and it was great, because that's what music is supposed to do to you!

"Richie!" His father knocked on the door, interrupting him. He sighed and turned off the radio. 

He walked in, immediately looking at the spilt wine, and pointing to it dramatically. 

"Richard Tozier!" He dragged out the last bit of his name. "Look what you've done! I've got half a mind to beat your skinny ass!" 

"Half a mind is right, slimeball. The only smart thing you've ever done is cheat on mom with your coworker, Annie, with the nice tits." 

Remember when Kyle told him that one day he'd eventually get his ass kicked for his trash mouth? Well, today was not that day! All that dancing sure made Richie swift, he dodged his father's attempt to grab him and made a dash out the door and down the stairs. 

"RICHIEEEE!" was what he heard as he ran out of the house. 

"Aw, shit." He whispered to himself, realizing he left the car keys inside. "Bike it is then." 

The door slammed open as he hoped on, he looked back with a goofy smile at his father, who was seeing nothing but red. 

"You little shit! Get back here-" 

But of course he didn't, and sped off without looking back, still wearing the same stupid smile on his face as he felt the wind in his hair. 

He hasn't felt this good in a long fucking time. 

Maybe, just maybe, he didn't even need anybody but himself to have the best summer of his life. 

**

The boys decided it was time for some ice cream, so they sat outside the corner store on the steps, enjoying their delicious cold treats they bought 

"So," Ben started. "What do you want to do with your lives? College is coming up so fast.." 

"I know.." they all said at the same time. 

"I don't even know yet." Stan told them. "My jew dad wants me to be a doctor, or whatever, but that just doesn't sound appealing to me. Honestly I'm fucking freaked out." 

"I want to be a teacher, I think." Mike said. It was fitting. He was kind and patient, but sadly enough, back then was around the time a black man being a teacher just seemed odd, and wrong. Mike was strong though, and determined. 

"I-i'm not sure e-either." That was Bill, if you couldn't tell. "I k-know that w-whatever it is, I'll be h-happy. I'll be with B-B-Bev." 

"When is she coming back anyway?" Stan asked between licks. 

"T-the end of s-summer. I hope she r-remembers me." 

Ben suddenly lost his appetite, and sighed sadly. No one heard.

"Of course she will, man." Mike said. "You can't really be forgotten." 

Bill smiled at these words. "W-what about you, Eddie? What do you want to be?"

"A doctor. So I can give kids medication that actually helps them." He angrily licked his ice cream. Everyone laughed, even Ben, who was still a bit upset. 

For some reason, no one even acknowledged what happened with him and Beverly, and his feelings for her. I mean, just fuck the fat kid, right? It was bullshit. 

The laughter suddenly stopped, and Ben didn't know why, until he looked up. 

Richie Tozier was standing there, face scrunched up, fixing his glasses. 

"Uh.. can you guys move?" He spoke after what seemed like forever. Bills heart began to ache. The boys shuffled and some stood up so he could get through the door. 

After that encounter, the atmosphere felt different. It was like they read each others minds, because after a few minutes, they all made their way to Bill's car in silence. 

** 

Richie Tozier obviously didn't deserve happiness. The one time he felt happiness, it was taken away from him. 

Why can't those fucking losers just leave him alone? They were like ticks, he just could not shake them off! What was he supposed to do? He couldn't do fucking anything. Why can't they just fuck off and die or something? That would make like easier. Even though easier didn't always mean better, he just wanted them gone. He gets it, he's horrible, he left them for alcoholics and sluts.  He made himself feel better by making up some delusional world where they all weren't friends. 

He still missed them, but he knew he'd never get them back, so why was he being tortured? 

"You know they live in the same town right? there's really no way of avoiding them. Might as well just give up and apologize." That was Richie's guilty conscience, something that he rarely listened to, and something that rarely showed up in his head in the first place.  
He took a drag of his cigarette on the same stairs the other boys were just recently sitting on. 

He clearly couldn't go home after what happened with his dad, so he figured he would go to Kyle's place now and wait there until people showed up. Not the way he usually rolls, with always being fashionably late and all, but this time he really did not give a shit.  

Tonight would be fun. Those losers wouldn't be there. No losers, no problem. 

Right?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The next chapter is when the fun begins! Mwahahahahaha


	6. Evil Boy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You're thinking up your white lies  
> You're putting on your bedroom eyes  
> You say you're coming home but you won't say when  
> But I can feel it coming  
> If you leave tonight keep running  
> And you need never look back again
> 
> -REO Speedwagon

(Chapter title based off the song "evil boy" By Die Antwoord)

!! Alright so a bit of a warning before this chapter, Richie smokes weed and has an awful panic attack. I wrote the way he felt because of my own experiences with weed, and that's very much what it feels like to have a panic attack on weed. What I had was not just a panic attack but a psychotic episode as well and it can be really fucking scary. I use to smoke a lot but stopped because of that. Anyways no hate towards stoners or anything, weed just isn't for anyone and I definitely don't recommend it if you have a history of panic attacks, because I can tell you a panic attack while high is about like, 1000000x worse than a panic attack while sober. 

 

When Richie arrived at Kyle's, the shorter ginger boy was a little more than surprised when he saw Richie standing there after opening the door. During parties, Kyle would usually not see much of Richie due to him arriving late and then leaving early with a girl. 

"What are you doing here?" Kyle asked. He noticed Richie had baggy eyes and a tired look on his face. "You look like shit."

"Thanks." Richie pushed past him and made his way to the kitchen. "I got bored and my dad was being a total dick." He opened the fridge and took a long, refreshing drink right from the milk carton. Kyle walked over and yanked it out of his hands. 

"My family drinks out of this too, you fucking ass." Kyle wiped the area Richie's lips touched with the sleeve of his shirt.

"So? It's not like I have herpes or anything. Your mom would be finding them all over her body by now if I did." 

"You're nasty." 

"Whatever. When is everyone coming?" 

"I don't know, man like, ten?"  

It was about seven now. Richie decided to head upstairs to Kyle's room to take a well needed nap. Today has been absolutely exhausting, and he needs to be charged up before getting his party on. 

It was difficult to fall asleep. Kyle's bed was small and so were the blankets. His feet stuck out of them, but he eventually passed out worrying about what sort of monster was going to come and grab them - or even worse - tickle them. 

\-- 

He woke up in a small white room with nothing but a TV sitting on the floor a few feet in front of him. Richie crawled over to it slowly, each sound he made with his palms and knees echoed, and so did the boys heavy breathing. 

The television wasn't playing anything but white noise and static. Richie sat on his knees and frantically tried to find a button that changed the channel as he grew more and more annoyed at the awful sound. He began to lightly hit the screen, as if that would somehow help. 

On about the third slap, a face popped up, making Richie jump and gracefully fall back a bit. The face was all too familiar. It's the same clown that fucked his entire summer up. 

The bastard laughed. That's right, he laughed! 

"What? Scared?" It laughed again, shaking it's head and wiggling about. 

"Fuck no. What are you even doing here? We took your ass to pound town, clown man. You lost, get over it." 

Pennywise stopped laughing and stared right into the face of a fearless, strong, and trash mouthed boy. 

"Beep Beep, Richie." Those words left his red mouth and made their way into Richie's brain and were like an infestation of memories.

The screen faded to black after a short staring contest between the two, and he was left looking at his own reflection. 

Or, so he thought it was his reflection. 

"Hey hot stuff." The reflection said. It surprised Richie, but he smiled and laughed at the greeting, fixing his glasses. "How's the 'no friends' life treating you?" Richie immediately frowned. 

"How the fuck do you know about that?" 

The other Richie laughed. "Because I am you, idiot." It gave him a huge, cheesy smile. "So? What's it like being away from all those losers?" 

"it sucks.  I miss them." 

"What? That's not the me I know!" 

"What are you talking about?" Real Richie scrunched up his face in confusion.  

"Don't you remember why you stopped being friends with them? They were slowing you down from getting laid and being cool. You abandoned them!" The reflection was evil. God it was so evil. Richie felt his blood begin to boil. 

"You know that's not true. I thought we just grew apart. I didn't think I was hurting them." His fists were clenched and he was talking through gritted teeth, looking anywhere but at his reflection, for the first time in his life he was disgusted by his own face. 

"Oh, but you did. That's okay, though. They're fucking useless. They're tools. They are LOSERS." 

That's when Richie lost it. He screamed, tears pouring down his face. He took his clenched up hand and punched through his own reflection, immediately feeling the glass cut into his hand but not caring. He took his glasses off with his free hand and wipes his tears. 

\--

He jolted awake, sweating bullets and with his heart pounding like never before. He held his chest tightly, panting heavily. The door opened and a couple walked. They looked at him, confused.

"Hey, Kyle said this room was free." The guy said. 

Richie swallowed and pursed his lips. "It is now." He got up and pushed past them and made his way downstairs. 

The music was blaring and people were already wasted, but Richie was more focused on slowing his heart rate down rather than the topless girls running around him. He needed a drink. Not alcohol, he needed an actual drink. 

He made his way to the kitchen but was stopped by Kyle who pushed right into him. 

"Rich!" He smelt like weed and whiskey. "Where were yawwwwww." 

"Sleeping. Will you fuck off for a second? You reek and I think I'm gonna be sick."

"Sick? But you haven't even-" Richie rolled his eyes and just walked away from the messy, talking ginger pile that was in front of him. He finally got to the kitchen and took another long, refreshing gulp from the milk carton, wiping his mouth and letting out a small belch. 

His heart had slowed down a bit at this point, but he was still very sweaty and was not yet fit to start drinking and partying just yet. He was thinking of smoking a blunt or something but weed is always fifty fifty for him. Meaning one half is the chance of chilling out and enjoying the high while the other half is having an awful panic attack where he feels like his hearts exploding and can't exactly fathom what's happening because he's so up there. He wasn't feeling like taking that chance right now, so he sat down and placed his head on the table. 

It was uncomfortable, all he could hear was the blood rushing in his ears. Not to mention the table was vibrating from the loud music blaring throughout the house. Richie closed his eyes and took a deep breath in, listening to guys cheering as they played spin the bottle and two girls had to kiss. On the other side he overheard some dude trying to be a hero standing up for some chick who was being touched too much by the schools very drunk star athlete douchebag. Upstairs he could hear a girl holding her best friends hair back as the other vomited into the toilet. Richie could hear everything. Not literally of course, but he's been to so many parties he just knows what's happening around him. 

Then his heart rate picked up again when he actually did hear some familiar voices. Voices that made him think back to when he was thirteen, riding his bike everywhere and not having a care in the world except for defeating a stupid, evil clown. 

They were here. 

For some unknown reason, Richie somehow found comfort in knowing they were here he lifted his head and smiled to himself when he listened to Eddie insulting someone because they stepped on his foot. 

Even though he was angry earlier about seeing them, just hearing them was very comforting. He can be brought back to the better days without having to come face to face with them. 

For a moment, just a moment, Richie pretended like he was still their friend, and was just waiting for Eddie to come back with a drink for him. He pretended that listening to teenagers waste their time and innocence didn't find him peace and comfort. 

A drink was placed in front of his face. He was surprised,  maybe he wasn't pretending after all and Eddie did bring him a drink. Richie looked up and saw Kyle. He frowned and placed his head back down on the table. 

"Wow. That wasn't the reaction I was expecting." Kyle stated. "Man, cheer up. I got you your medicine!" 

It took awhile for Richie to lift his head and examine the drink Kyle gave him.

"I guess it's time now." He whispered to himself. He shut his eyes and let the strong liquid hit the back of his throat. It slid down and made him cringe in disgust. "Yuck. Vodka. That's a chick's drink."

\--

After the first drink, there's no looking back. Richie was gone, becoming a sheep in the flock and dancing around like he didn't have a care in the world. At home his moves were graceful and beautiful, at parties they were all but that. He stumbled and knocked into girls without apologizing until he was vomited on by some chick who couldn't hold it in anymore. 

"I'm so sorry" she said, wiping her mouth. She wasn't sorry, Richie knew that. He didn't care either. He took her by the face and kissed her, tasting the vile on her tongue and cringing at the bitterness of stomach acid. She kissed back just as hard and sloppy. She was the first to pull away. "Can we go upstairs?" 

Richie shook his head and giggled. "You just puked all over me." 

"But you kissed me?" 

"I just wanted to see what your sickness tasted like." 

The short girl scrunched up her face and took a step back. "What the fuck is wrong with you?" 

He laughed wickedly as she stormed off. That had to be the most disgusting thing he has ever said to anybody ever, and he had no idea why he said it, but it made him laugh. 

"Bitches think they have a chance with Richie." He whispered to himself, still laughing. Richie started to dance again with the feeling of loud music closing in on him when really it was just the bodies around around him.

\-- 

Bill began to feel extremely overwhelmed. He was very drunk and felt uncomfortably warm because of the hot breath of everybody around him. He had lost the people he came here with and has been trying to find them for over an hour now. Bill started to feel quite dizzy, so he searched for a place to sit that wasn't covered in vomit or had a couple doing a little too much PDA. he eventually decided to sit on the floor against the wall and just prayed he wouldn't get trampled. 

His head was pounding and his mind was racing. There's no way his friends ditched him, they'd never do something like that, especially at a party. They rarely went to parties, but when they did they always stuck together and took care of each other. He felt alone, and he just wanted to be in his nice warm bed with a hot water bottle while reading a comic or something. 

"Hey!" A sweet voice made Bill snap out of his daydreaming. It was a very pretty blonde girl who came and sat next to him. "Are you okay? You don't look so good!" She wore a concerned expression and stared into Bill's eyes. 

"Uh," Bill rubbed his eyes. "Yeah I'm fine, just l-looking for my friends." 

She giggled like a drunk girl acting a little more drunk than she actually was. "On the floor? Well I don't see them down here. What's your name?" 

"B-Bill."

"I'm Deborah. You're very cute." 

"Thanks, I-" 

"Wanna dance?!" 

"Well-" 

Before he could protest, Deborah was already yanking him off the floor and dragging him to where everyone else was dancing and goofing around. A slow song was playing, "Time after Time" by Cyndi Loper,  and Bill immediately grew uncomfortable when Deborah took his hands and placed them on her hips. 

See, Bill has barely even looked sideways at a girl since he was thirteen. He never wanted to, because Beverly was the only girl he ever dreamed of being with. To this day he was still hopelessly in love with her and he hasn't even heard her voice for four years. Bill missed her dearly, and thought about her constantly, he didn't want to be with anybody else. This girl was sweet, but she wasn't Beverly. She wasn't someone who he shared the most horrific, life changing memories with. 

Deborah leaned in close. "You're very tense." She whispered, breath hot on Bill's ear. "Just relax." 

When she began to lightly kiss his neck while they danced, Bill had enough. He pulled away quickly. 

"Deborah, I'm sorry but I can't do this, you're very pretty and nice but I need to find my friends." 

Turns out Deborah wasn't all that nice, as she swiped the drink from the guy next to her and threw the red liquid at Bill, ruining his white t shirt. 

"Cunt." He called out to her after she stormed off. Even though it was his favourite shirt, the mess was the least of his worries right now. Bill was drunk, confused, and even though he was surrounded by people, he was alone. 

"I need fresh air." He told himself, pushing past everyone to get to the front door. As he stepped out and felt the midnight air, he realized how much hotter it was inside. Bill was a bit sweaty and felt a little gross, so he decided to stay out there and wait, thinking that maybe one of his friends would step out eventually so they would be able to at least walk him home safely.

\-- 

Richie gave in and eventually smoked some pot. Luckily, it was a good high, and he was beyond fucked, not even being able to stand properly. He felt like a big blob on the couch, watching everybody make out or fuck around. Even his eyes were moving extra slowly as he surveyed the room. 

"Do.. I.. still.. have my hands..." Richie panicked for a second before very carefully examining each and every finger and the crevice on that finger. It took awhile, but eventually he was convinced everything was there and went back to thinking of little things like small animals and mini versions of kitchen utensils. "So cute." He told himself. 

"what's cute?" Kyle asked beside him. He was in the same state as Richie. Very high and very drunk. 

"Little versions of kitchen... tools.." 

Kyle giggled. "Yeah." 

All of a sudden, Richie couldn't feel his chest. He quickly sat up and immediately began to panic. Here it goes. Richie thinks he's dying, his hearts exploding. He looks around the room and begins to breath. It's a feeling of doom. He wants the high to be over now. He needs fresh air or he really is going to faint. 

"You okay?" Kyle asked him. 

Richie ignored him and made his way outside. 

"Fuck, fuck. Dear god. Oh my god, I can't feel my heart, my throat is numb. I'm fucking dying." He frantically whispered to himself, the fact everything was going by in slow motion and it felt like a forever journey through the door just made it all worse. 

Finally, Richie busted through the door, which made the person sitting on the step jump and face him. 

"Richie?" The boy said. 

"Bill?"


	7. Space Enough to Grow

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You take it on the run baby  
> If that's the way you want it baby  
> Then I don't want you around  
> -REO Speedwagon

Bill's breath was instantly taken away as he eyed Richie up and down. His eyes slightly watered up looking at his old friend. Sure, Bill has been seeing him a lot lately, even earlier that day he came face to face with the tall, curly haired boy, but this time was different. They were both complete messes, falling into the arms of fate once more. The sky seemed to grow upset as well, as low thunder was heard off in the distance as they stared at each other, speechless. 

"I missed you." They both said in unison. Bill had no idea that Richie was panicking just moments before thinking he was about to die. Bill had no idea Richie forgot all about his feelings of doom as soon as he laid eyes on him. His heart was still beating fast, and the world still went by slowly around him, but for some reason he just felt like he was alright 

The sky was full on crying at this point. Soft patterning of rain drops fell onto the soft soil that helped beautiful flowers around them grow, but they did not care. They were drunk, confused, and alone. 

Alone together, at least. 

Richie decided it was time to break his gaze with Bill. He stepped forward and took a seat next to him. 

Bill's friend smelt like vomit but he didn't care. He looked to the sky and closed his eyes, letting the wet drops fall onto his face and eyelids. They clung onto the hairs of his eyebrows and eyelashes and dribbled down his red stained cheeks. He was smiling to himself, enjoying the silence between the two, as if their friendship was repairing itself with each minute passing by. Bill finally worked up the courage to look at Richie, who's face was also wet. It wasn't from the rain though, it was from his own little drops that fell from the clouds on his face. Richie was silently crying to himself, hoping Bill wouldn't notice, but of course he did.  


"look, I have to admit, I'm so far gone right now I don't even know if you're real. What did I just say?" Richie mumbled the last part. "I just want to say, it doesn't matter if you're the real Bill or not, I just want you to know, Bill, whether you're here with me or somewhere out there far away," he looked off into the darkness that had no end to it. "I'm sorry, for everything. I never meant to hurt you. Not Eddie, or Stan, or Mike or even that fat kid Ben." 

Bill chuckled, obviously very drunk. "I know, because I can see it in your f-face whenever we cross paths. I know because fate keeps making us run into each other over and over again. I know because you've never a-a-a-apologized to anybody g-genuinely in your entire life up until now." 

Richie smiled and looked at Bill as if he had just saved the world. Hearing those words brought him peace. Not just the peace Richie felt when he listened to idiotic teenagers throw up in the next room, but a special kind of peace. It was the kind of peace you got when you realized you've been worrying over something that could just be easily fixed. 

"B-by the way," Bill said after a few minutes. "I'm the real B-Bill. I'm just drunk. V-very d-d-drunk, but not as fucked up as you at least." When the last word of his sentence slipped from his chapped lips, the angry thunder that was off in the distance just a few minutes beforehand was now above them, almost making them shit themselves. It was telling them to go, and that they did. Even though Bill was still drunk, he let Richie lean on him so they could stumble home together. 

All alone, together.


	8. Dreams

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I don't believe it  
> Not for a minute  
> You're under the gun so you take it on the run  
> -REO Speedwagon

It was dark, it was cold, and it was quiet. It was too quiet. Richie was covered in goosebumps, and, upon inspection, he discovered he was naked. 

Suddenly, it was no longer dark, and bright lights above him turned on with loud clicks, and he found himself staring at a soft, red velvet curtain. 

The curtains were drawn, and Richie was left looking at five very familiar faces, his friends. Stan, Eddie, Bill, Ben, and Mike, all standing in the front of a giant theatre. They were all looking at him, with blank, eerie expressions. 

Richie began to feel a knot in his stomach. He knew, in the back of his mind, that he was dreaming, but the awareness didn't help, and the fact he was trying his best to cover his body up and hide away didn't help either. He still felt the shame while his old friends gazed at his naked body. 

It felt like forever until something finally happened. Eddie raised his arm and pointed a finger directly at Richie. He began to laugh, a monotone, disturbing laugh. Stan joined in, then Ben, it went on until all five of his old friends were laughing at him all together, sounding like some sort of demonic choir. 

Richie began to tear up. "Stop it!" He screamed. "I'm sorry! Just stop it." He fell to his knees and covered his ears, but it just seemed to get louder and louder. 

He looked up when their laughter morphed into a laugh he knew the most. 

Pennywise

The boys all morphed together and formed the evil clown. 

"Fuck OFF!" Richie screamed, standing up. "You won't break me, fuck face!" 

\--

Bill was standing in a field. It was a bright summer day, hot, but with a slight breeze. 

He felt his hand into someone else's and turned to see Beverly, smiling at him with that beautiful smile of hers that made Bill melt. His heart swelled up and the butterflies in his stomach went crazy. He was absolutely intoxicated with the love he had for her. The way her strawberry hair shined in the morning sun, the way her cheeks were stained with freckles that were visible from far away but even more visible within kissing distance. The way her eyes gleamed when looking at Bill. She was perfect to him. 

Bill turned his body so they stood face to face and he could take in every detail of her beauty. 

"I miss you so much." He said. He didn't stutter because he was so focused on her he didn't even think of what he was saying. "Please come back to me, Beverly." 

She smiled and opened her mouth to speak. Bill closed his eyes so he could take in her adorable voice. Instead of a lovely feminine voice of beauty, he got a... boys voice? 

It was Richie's voice? 

Bill opened his eyes and scrunched up his face in confusion at his soul mate. Her face morphed into Richie's and he found himself taking a few steps back. 

"R-R-Richie, what the f-fuck?" 

"Help me." 

"W-what?" 

"HELP ME!" 

\--

Bill jolted awake to Richie's terrified voice. 

"Help me! HELP ME!" 

Bill quickly climbed out of bed and kneeled to where Richie was on the floor. He took both of his shoulders to keep him still so he would stop. 

Richie had his eyes closed and was flailing about. It took all of Bill's strength to keep him in place. 

"Richie! Richie, it's Bill!" 

After a few moments, Richie stopped fighting it and finally opened his eyes. He had tears streaming down his face and a look of absolute horror. 

"Richie, it's o-okay, it was j-just a bad d-d-dream. You're going to be fine." Bill told him. He barely remembered anything from last night, but he did remember talking to Richie and taking him home. 

"Where.. where am.."

"You're at m-my house." 

"Oh, right, okay. I remember I think." Richie looked around for his glasses and found them behind his pillow. He put them on his face and was finally able to see properly. He was in fact in Bill's room and noticed it hasn't changed much since he was last here all those years ago. 

"What was it about?" Bill asked, bringing him out of his thoughts. 

"Hm?" 

"Y-your dream. What did you dream o-of?" 

"Oh." He pushed his glasses further up his nose while he thought of a lie to tell the other boy. "Just...vampires." 

Bill raised his eyebrow. "Vampires?"

"Yeah. Lame, I know." 

"A little. You want breakfast? You must be pretty hungover." 

"Yeah, sure." 

"I'll bring it to you." Bill said, smiling. 

"No, I can come down." 

"Just stay here." He laughed. He went to walk out the door but Richie stopped him. 

"Bill?" 

"Yeah?"

"Thanks." Richie said. Bill nodded and left to go get the still terrified boy some cereal.


	9. Broskies

Yo so I haven't updated since around Christmas last year because my boyfriend came and stayed with me for a few weeks and then I got myself a job right after that so yeah life is a bit busy but if you guys like it I can update ? Let me know y'all


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